Panic
by FanWoman18
Summary: Connor and Oliver are both exhausted one night so they don't have sex. Connor realizes and has a panic attack due to his past and Oliver must calm him down. 2nd in series; direct sequel of Past That Haunts Us.


**Summary: **Connor and Oliver are both exhausted one night so they don't have sex. Connor realizes and has a panic attack due to his past and Oliver must calm him down. 2nd in series; direct sequel of Past That Haunts Us.

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><p><strong>Panic<strong>

Connor didn't even realize it until the next day while he was working the case. It was only practice that made him stop from having a panic attack right there in front of everyone and Michaela was being her annoying self by making sure to always bring up Aiden. Connor didn't care anymore he had Oliver and while they were still working through stuff it was good or at least Connor thought it was until he had screwed up again last night. He was exhausted from work and so he hadn't even thought of sex and just fell asleep wrapped around Oliver. Now though he realized he had screwed up like he always did and he knew he had to fix it.

~Panic~

Oliver walked in from work annoyed that everyone there hadn't believed he had a boyfriend surprised to see Connor already there but his happiness at seeing him turned to worry when he saw Connor struggling to breath. As he got closer he heard what Connor was saying and the way he was rocking back and forth knowing it was a panic attack.

"I screwed up, I screwed everything up," Connor said shaking his head.

"Connor what's wrong?" Oliver asked putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Connor said gripping his shirt and Oliver was concerned now because the last time he had broken down like this was when he had cheated and then admitted his past.

"Connor you need to talk to me," Oliver ordered needing to know so he could figure this out.

"I was exhausted last night that's why," Connor said shaking his head like he was holding back a sob.

Oliver was confused at first until it finally clicked. Connor's last relationship had been with a man that was abusive and cheated on him everytime he didn't put out. Last night Connor had been the last one to arrive and was exhausted as was he so nothing was initiated. It made sense now, Connor wasn't freaking out because he had cheated again, he was freaking out because they didn't have sex and he was afraid of what Oliver would do. Oliver wasn't a violent person but seeing his boyfriend, someone who was so strong break down like this all because of one man, a man that had been an abusive prick, made Oliver want to find the man and kill him. His priority right now was Connor and stopping him from losing it even more.

"It's okay Connor. We don't need to have sex every night," Oliver said calmly wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.

"Really?" Connor asked tightening his grip on Oliver's shirt.

"Yes," Oliver answered and felt Connor relax.

Connor hated how weak he felt and while he wanted to make it stop, wanted to be stronger, at the same time he knew that he only did this with someone he trusted. He only trusted Oliver, he was the second person besides him to know about what happened. He felt the tension melt from his body as Oliver wrapped his arms around him and sighed hating how dependent he was but not willing to trade it for anything. Oliver pulled back from Connor and pulled him into a kiss that wasn't like it's usual passion, it was softer meant to comfort.

"We don't need to have sex every single night Connor. I mean I know your a sex addict but still," Oliver said hoping to lighten the mood.

"What do you expect when I have you?" Connor asked relieved and feeling strength come back to him.

Oliver laughed which turned into a moan when Connor attacked him with his lips. The two of them stood up and walked their way back to the bedroom as clothes disappeared leaving them naked. The two of them switched when it came to the bedroom though Connor always had to be convinced and Oliver knew it was because of his past relationship. He also knew that right now Connor needed to feel in control, like he had power which was why Oliver didn't argue with being on the bottom. One leg wrapped around Connor's waist while the other was placed on his shoulder stretching him open. Oliver gasped arching when Connor stretched him open with two fingers while nipping his way across his neck. Oliver brought Connor's face to him kissing him groaning into it when Connor pulled his fingers free to enter him in one swift motion. The pace fast with Connor hitting that spot dead on with every thrust and Oliver knew that he was being this way because he need the control and he wasn't complaining.

"Oh God," Oliver lets out as black spots dance in his vision and he knew he was close.

"Not God," Connor grunts out with a laugh.

Oliver would have responded but he was too busy blacking out from the sensation and coming harder than he had in his life, well maybe not in his whole life. When he did finally come to it was to Connor cleaned him up and he sighed when he saw the expression in the man's eyes. His eyes showed that Connor despite all of that was still scared in some way that he had screwed up and that Oliver was going to leave him. Oliver opened his arms and Connor curled around him with a sigh.

"Just because we don't have sex every minute of every day doesn't mean that anything is wrong. I'm not going to leave you because we miss out on sex for a day or two," Oliver said quietly.

"Okay," Connor says not believing him really but wanting to because he knew that Oliver was telling the truth he knew in his heart but his head only remembered the bad memories of Him and wouldn't let it go. He closed his eyes hoping that maybe one day he would finally believe Oliver and he could then overcome everything He had done.

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><p><strong>I read and have heard that Oliver will not be in for the rest of the season. I don't know what is going to happen exactly but I refuse to just believe Connor has gotten over him. Fanfiction will have to do for now. <strong>


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